The Dark Beast's Love

Waking up for the second time today, I noticed that I was a little more relaxed than the first time. As my most recent memories hit as a wave from the ocean, I couldn't help but mentally scan my body to see if I was sore anywhere or if my muscles were unnaturally slow, but I found my muscles and my bones in their ordinary condition and released a breath of relief.

Riven was nowhere in sight, but the comforter gently placed over me was the sign that he had made sure that I was comfortable before leaving me to rest. I couldn't stop over analysing the memories that played before me. It had been so natural. It had been too easy to just allow Riven to touch me as he desired while my body relaxed under his touch without any of the uncomfortableness that I'd been expecting, and it scared the hell out of me. No sane person would have adjusted to the bargain so easily. No sane person would in their right mind have allowed themselves to enjoy the tender touches that ignited my skin as Riven's hands finally were allowed to touch. But no matter how much I wanted to lie to myself, I had enjoyed it, and I had been comfortable enough to fall asleep while he continued peppering kisses all over my skin.

I wondered if my feeling was due to magic, due to the fact that according to him, I was the love the witch had promised. The rules of his curse seem so abstract, but I know for sure that I didn't want my own emotions to be altered by some witch's spell. No matter how embarrassing the emotions might have been, I wanted them to be my own, and not the consequences of someone else's. Parts of me considered asking Riven about this, whether he knew if my affection for him could be fake due to magic, but I couldn't stand the thought of the expression that would ghost over his face as the realisation hit him, nor could I stand the thought of me being wrong and him knowing that I had enjoyed the touch of his hands on my skin.

I hurried to the bathroom once I had managed to get out of bed, mainly hoping to postpone any interaction with Riven until later. However, my eyes fell on the purple marks that covered my neck, collarbone and shuóulder when I finally looked in the mirror. And not just regular bruises but love bruises. Hickeys. And they were spread out on every revealed area of skin that Riven had been able to reach, some even merging together due to how closely they were to each other. It almost caused my breath to hitch when I inspected them closer.

Nathan had never had the chance to mark me anywhere visible because it would destroy my family and his and everything we'd tried to protect by keeping us a secret. He had, however, left some in places where only I was supposed to see them. Like the inside of my thigh or right above my hip.

Riven had marked me as if he'd known that these places had never been marked and he was repaying the lack of experience by giving me everything and a little more, and I wasn't really sure how to feel about it. I could just stare at them as I slowly counted the trail from one side of my shoulder over to the other. One thing was at least certain, no matter how I arranged my shirt, I wouldn't be able to cover them all.

With renewed energy and sudden curiosity, I started looking for Riven, and the most logical thing to do was to start outside. Riven had told me that the bargain was more than just some hand-holding and kisses here and there, and I now wondered what exactly he'd meant with more. When I first thought of this deal, I thought about him using me for sex, but after his talk about the safeword and how he'd been satisfied by only kissing me earlier today, I suspected that my previous thoughts were incorrect.

Not too surprised, I found him by the river, but rather unlike him, he was just resting on his back this time, with the sun illuminating his skin and pale hair, while his eyes were closed and his lips were formed in a small smile. I did my best to approach slowly, but when he didn't even jolt when I took a seat beside me I suspected that he already knew that I was coming.

"Why the laziness today?" I casually asked as if I wasn't covered with evidence of what we'd done just previously.

If anything, his smile grew a little wider.

"I got most of it done like yesterday," He responded without opening his eyes. "Besides, the sun paid a visit today and it has been a while since it has been this warm in the glade."

I agreed with him that this was the warmest day in a while, not warm enough to be summer, but definitely a greeting of mid-spring.

"How are you feeling?" Riven was suddenly up and eyeing me concerningly, and I couldn't help but feel the hickeys burn in their exposure.

"I..." I tried to find words but found nothing. "I..."

"You... You can back out if it was too much," Riven's tone was subtly sad as he spoke. "This is just the beginning of whatever we have going on and I'm not sure if I can handle you backing out when we've gone further." Despite appreciating his honesty, I felt my stomach clench at the words.

"I don't want to back out," I explained and something in Riven's shoulders visibly relaxed. "I just need a little time to adjust."

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Which was a lie, my traitorous mind reminded me.

Riven nodded understandingly before staring right ahead of him, suddenly a grin grew on his face.

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It took me a while to realise what he meant, and when I did, I threw a handful of grass towards him. He let out a burst of delightful laughter.

"Hungry?" He didn't even wait for my answer before getting up. "I have some fresh food ready for the day that needs a little marinating and seasoning before I grill them, would you mind joining me."

I took the hand he had stretched out and allowed him to drag me up, completely ignoring how perfectly my hands fit his.

"I have one thing I need to do first," I announced but offered him a smile. "But I'll join you shortly."

His expression was understanding but he did not let go of my hand. Instead, he brought it to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on my knuckles, eyes never leaving my face as if to search for a reaction, and I just knew that my ears were red with emotions I rather avoid.

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I gave myself a couple of minutes to collect myself and calm my violently beating heart before heading off to the woods, taking the path towards the edge of the graves where souls rested. Riven had already replaced the screwdriver with a wooden cross, and I dragged my fingers over Theo's carved-in name as I bent down to its level.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't fast enough to save you," I said as quietly as I could. "And I'm sorry if I'm in any way offending you." The guilt made my heart ache. "But I am hoping that there will be no more after last time, and if I am the price that needs to be paid, then it is a small price."

I kissed the tips of my fingers and placed them back on his name.

"I hope your ancestors are taking good care of you."

After that I left the grave, brushing off whatever tears had appeared during my visit and making sure that there were no traces of my emotions when I entered the house where Riven was preparing a delightful dinner for the evening.

He didn't need to know that I had visited Theo today. And he didn't need to know that I wept again once I was alone in my room. But this time not for Theo, but because I was going to have to learn how to love the same thing that murdered my mother.

I could sense her turning in her grave.