Shh
Nikolai’s POV
I tried not to feel impatient as I waited for them to arrive. It had been nearly ten minutes since I summoned them but still there was no sign of them. I began to wonder if I was actually impatient or just nervous.
Over the past few days, I had seen Drew give me questioning glances whenever he saw me training Liyah, but he never asked about it. I always knew that things weren’t perfect with my pack, but I never truly got past my anger enough to see just how bad I had been neglecting them, especially Annalise and Drew. They were more than just my pack members. They were my friends… my family.
I already knew they had been hurting, but I never cared. I was just too invested on getting my revenge. Now that everything had turned out the way it did, I began to see just how deep the wound was.
I was distracted by the sound of my bedroom door opening. Drew walked in, Annie right behind him. They bowed shortly before facing me.
“You wanted to see us?” Drew queried, his voice cold.
I began to have cold feet. Maybe this was a mistake. I was the Alpha. I didn’t owe anyone anything. As I parted my lips to dismiss them, my heart clenched. I couldn’t do it.
“If this is about the rogues on the other side of town, we’re already on it,” Anna cut in sharply. “So you don’t need to worry about us not doing our job.”
I was tempted to nod and wave them away, but I didn’t.
“This isn’t about work or anything else.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “What is it then?”
I inhaled deeply.
“Look I know you’re mad at me, and probably even hate me. And you have every right to be.”
Drew was silent.
Annalise scoffed. “Ya think?”
I saw Drew put his hand atop hers in an attempt to calm her.
I knew she was even more pissed than Drew. I had expected it. Since she found out what I had done to Liyah, she had avoided me like the plague. Every time she looked at me, I could see the burning disgust in her eyes.
“I know this is terrible timing, and a lame apology. But I don’t know what else to say. I miss you guys. And I’m trying… trying to make things right with myself, with Liyah, with you.”
“I was so wrapped up in guilt… consumed, really. It felt like something was eating me from inside out. I stare at my reflection sometimes and I don’t even know who I am anymore. And you were right, Anna. I’m a coward, and being an Alpha doesn’t change that.”
We all stood in silence for a while. And then Drew approached me, clapping a hand on my shoulder and smiling. “I always knew you would come back. I knew you were still in there somewhere. Welcome back, man.”
As he plopped down next to me on the bed, we both faced Anna. I could tell from her cold expression that she didn’t give two shits about my apology.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.
“Great. May I leave now?”
As she whipped around and made to leave, I knew that if I let her walk out that door, I would lose her forever. I could feel Drew’s eyes on me as she stormed to the door.
“She was pregnant.”
The sound of my own voice saying those words brought back painful memories like it always did. The only difference was that this time, I was learning to not let those emotions overwhelm me.
Annalise turned back.
“Who?” I heard Drew ask.
I swallowed again. I had kept it to myself all these years because I was in so much pain, I didn’t feel like talking about it. And I didn’t want you guys to worry as well. One person grieving was enough already…
“Elle had been feeling sick for a couple of weeks. We decided to go see the doctor that morning, and that’s when we found out she was pregnant. With twins.”
I had never seen Drew look so angry like he did in that moment. He bolted from the bed as though he had been electrocuted. “What did you say?!”
I bowed my head, pain cutting through my chest once more. “That’s when we were ambushed by Verbeck and his men. They defiled my Elle, Drew. They violated her, took turns on her… a-and they made me watch.”
I saw Anna stagger backwards, her eyes trained on me in disbelief.
The burning sensation in my chest pressed on harder when I felt tears sting my eyes.
“He snapped her neck afterwards. I didn’t know what to do. We were going to surprise you two with news of the pregnancy. I was so heartbroken… so tired. I didn’t think there was any point telling…”
Drew stopped me by enveloping me in a tight hug. My surprise eventually melted into despair and a feeling of warmth. Having someone hug me made me realize how lonely I had been all these years.
“You should told us… you should’ve told us…” Drew whispered continuously, his voice breaking as he tightened the hug.
Without warning, Annalise approached us. The first thing she did was tear us apart. When I faced her, she grabbed me by the collar, tightening her grip.
“Elle was pregnant?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“She was pregnant? With twins? You were going to be a father, Nikolai? You? A dad?”
With each sentence she tightened her hold on my shirt. All of a sudden she let go. “He’s going to fucking pay.”
And before we could process what was happening, she was out the door. Realizing that she was talking about Jonas, Drew and I bounded after her, grabbing her by the shirt in the nick of time.
“NO! Let me go, right now!! I said let me go!”
Tears had already begun to stream down her face in torrents. But she didn’t stop pushing.
“LET ME GO!!”
When we had successfully pulled her into the room and secured the lock, I tried to calm her down.
“Anna, it’s okay. It’s alri-
“You know how badly she wanted kids, Nikolai! You know this. I need to go!”
As she brutally fought me off, I wrapped my arms around her, not letting go even when she dug her fingernails into my chest. When her strength began to fail, she held onto the front of my shirt, letting out a broken cry as she sobbed quietly, slowly slumping to the floor.
“Shh,” I cooed, squatting next to her and pulling her into a bear hug as I smoothened out her hair, careful not to let myself break down as well.