Chapter 11
I filled out the forms and left them with the moody receptionist. There’s copies for me to take home and go over.
When I get home I spend hours milling over the contract and what I’m signing up to.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.
It looks like a standard contract, except the part where it specifies my job title as personal waitress and explains in bold letters that my body belongs to Nickoli Giordano and I’m supposed to do what he says. Those are the job specs, title and description.
It then goes on to list all the things I’m not to do. What stands out in my mind are the first three stipulations that are also typed in bold.
I’m not to have sexual relations of any kind with any other men, I’m supposed to dress in the attire provided to me at the club, and since I’m considered to be his private property I’m supposed to consult him if I want to make any changes to myself. i. e.: haircut, piercings, anything.
Oh… but, then there’s this part: the contract can be terminated at any point by either party.
He can terminate it, or I can.
I can terminate it.
Under that is the details of the salary. It really is a hundred grand and that’s the starting salary. There’s no mention of when that will change like at the end of a trial period or anything like that. I never expected there to be details like that though. Just like the other thing this isn’t mentioning. The part about how long the job lasts.
I’m basically signing up to be this man’s sex toy and while I may not be as well versed as most people in the world of men, I know the job can end when he’s finished with me. Until that time I have to do what he says.
That is what I signed up to.
By the time I woke up this morning I’d got a text notification from the bank letting me know twenty thousand dollars has been deposited into my account.
I’m so astounded I get dressed and go down to my bank to check if it’s real.
It’s real.
It’s actually real. I get a printout of the balance and the reference for the payment is listed as staff benefit and advance in equal parts so I know what he’s done for me.
I asked for ten grand and he gave me twenty. Ten of which is mine to keep as a staff benefit.
The shock that resides in the pit of my stomach is something I can’t quite describe.
I can’t describe it because on the one hand, apart from Chloe, I don’t have anybody who would look out for me like this. On the other hand he gave me the money and I haven’t even started working for him yet. On the other, other hand, he gave me ten grand to keep.
Needless to say I wire the money across to Hector’s account straight away. The next thing I do is go to the diner and order something to eat.
I hate eating alone but I’m doing it. Having real money in my account brings back the realization that I haven’t eaten properly in weeks.
After I eat I allow myself to think about everything that’s happening properly.
Last night was crazy. I don’t know what I’m doing but I know I’m in over my head. Way in.
Last night was the first in a year since I’ve mentioned Chad too. My cheating ex.
I don’t even talk about him with Chloe and I should, because the reality of it is, he really hurt me deeply. When you’re with someone for so long it’s hard to become you again. Just you.
We broke up last year and yes he cheated, but he cheated with Miranda. He cheated on me with one of my friends.
It’s the reason why I’m not that close with her, and the reason why we’re still some resemblance to the friends we used to be, is that she came and told me. She was the one who came and told me what was going on.
If it had been just the one time, maybe I would have been more open to push it all aside and give her credit for stepping forward and owning up to what was going on.
But no, it wasn’t that. She’d been sleeping with him for years and honestly I think she told me because she got pregnant and he didn’t want the baby. It was one big bust-up that left me heartbroken and blaming myself for the long distance relationship we’d had.
After Harvard, Chad came back to Chicago with me because we planned to be here. My friends became his friends and it was all nice. Then I got the job in LA with Silvermans. At no point whatsoever did he seem bothered by it. He was fine, or so I thought. In our big bust-up he told me how selfish I was. How I never thought of him when I decided to move to L. A, and what did I expect him to do?
When I answered that I never expected him to cheat on me with one of my friends, he thought I was in the wrong. He made it seem like it was during that time but he didn’t know that I knew he’d been sleeping with Miranda for years before I left for L. A.
We broke up and I didn’t want to speak to anyone for months. What brought me out of my shell was hearing that Miranda was in a car accident and lost her baby.
Pushing the past out of my head, I look ahead at the waitress making her way toward me.
“Can I get you anything else?” she asks with a pleasant smile.
“Yes, can I have an extra-large chocolate shake please?”
She nods, drops her foot back and retracts her steps to the kitchen.
I have a long day ahead of me.
I planned out everything earlier. I’m gonna get a babysitter for Beth who can look after her in the evenings. The Pattersons have agreed to have her for the rest of the week or more if we need. They were really worried when they heard about Dad and they know how hard I’ve been trying to find work. It’s nice of them to offer to help but I don’t want to impose so I’ll accept the help for the rest of the week and get a babysitter after.
I’ll visit Dad in an hour and prep everything.
Prepare for tonight.
Well… at least I fixed one thing. Kind of, sort of.
I stopped Hector from killing Dad. I paid the money. Now I have to do the rest.
I told Nickoli Giordano I’d be his.
What does it mean to be his?
Be with a man who I just met in the way he wants me to.
I have to do this for my family… that’s what I’m telling myself.
At the same time, I know that it’s not the entire truth.
Yes I agreed to the bizarre contract and signed my body away to a man I don’t know because I need the money for my family, but last night was testament that it’s so much more than that.
I can lie to myself all I want and paint this in whatever color I wish. I can do all of that but I can’t change the truth.
It’s a truth that stirs shame in the pit of my stomach.
The truth is, I want him too.
I really must have lost my mind.