Chap 130 : Can’t Choice
Ariana sat on the bed, holding her head in her hands. The throbbing in her head had been there for the past few days, even before she found out about her pregnancy. Initially, she thought it was just a regular headache. But eventually, she understood the reason behind it, as it always came at the same time every day.
More than that, the pain in her head was always accompanied by nausea, causing her to vomit whatever food she put into her mouth. Just like what had happened a moment ago, even though she had just had breakfast. Not really breakfast, but more like a late morning meal since it was already past ten-fifteen. Despite the bitter taste in her mouth, she forced herself to swallow something for the sake of the baby growing inside her.
Ariana went back to the kitchen, searching for fruits she could eat. She needed to replace what she had just thrown up with fresh food. She smiled when she saw a dragon fruit placed on a bowl on the kitchen table. Hopefully, its sweetness could replace the bitter taste in her mouth. Just as she was about to grab a knife, she heard the doorbell of her apartment ring. With a furrowed brow, she walked towards the door, peeked for a moment from inside, and then with a smile on her face, she opened the door.
“Mommy!” the shout echoed as small hands collided and embraced her legs. “Axel missed Mommy, why didn’t Mommy come home?” the little boy asked, his voice sounding petulant.This is the property of Nô-velDrama.Org.
“Mommy had to tidy up our home,” Ariana reasoned. “Why isn’t Axel at school?” she questioned the handsome boy in front of her.
“Because Mommy isn’t here,” he replied innocently.
Ariana looked at the boy sharply. “Whether Mommy is here or not, Axel must go to school. Does Axel want to be ignorant?” she scolded. The boy shook his head with a pouty face. “Promise Mommy you won’t skip school anymore?” she ordered. The boy obediently nodded his head. Ariana’s expression softened into a smile, and she ushered the boy inside the apartment. “Mommy is going to eat dragon fruit. Does Axel want some?” she asked. The little boy nodded eagerly. “Does Grandma want some too?” she inquired, looking at the elderly woman who came in with Axel. Mrs. Rosaline just nodded and followed her grandson to sit on the sofa.
Ariana returned to the kitchen and resumed peeling the fruit. An hour earlier, Mrs. Rosaline had contacted her, telling her about Axel’s protest due to Ariana’s absence. The little boy refused to have breakfast and even refused to go to school, throwing a tantrum in front of Gerald and demanding Ariana’s presence. But Gerald, who was equally emotional, chose to ignore Axel and went to the office anyway. Consequently, the only option Mrs. Rosaline had was to call Ariana and inform her about Axel’s situation.
Ariana refused to return home without giving a definite reason. However, she didn’t object when Mrs. Rosaline offered to bring Axel to her apartment. So, here they were. In her living room, with the television on, showing one of Axel’s favorite kids’ shows.
“How are you holding up?” Mrs. Rosaline asked when Axel was already engrossed in the show.
“Not any better,” Ariana replied flatly.
“Why are you doing all of this? Why do your problems never end?” she asked, her face filled with worry. “And now, why are you letting all of this happen, Ariana?” Mrs. Rosaline continued to scrutinize Ariana carefully. “You know Gerald loves you so much. But why can’t you trust him?” she asked, her eyes filled with sadness.
Ariana looked down. “I love him too. I’m aware of that. But I’m confused about the reality I have to face right now,” Ariana replied.
“No one knows the mysteries of human life, Ariana. We humans can only speculate; the truth is only known to God.”
Ariana fell silent once again. “I’m just trying to avoid something painful.”
“Painful for whom? Gerald or yourself? Because from what Grandma observes, all of this will only hurt you.”
“I’m used to it all.”
But then Mrs. Rosaline reached out and took Ariana’s hand. “No one gets used to pain, Ariana. Even though you often feel it. At least, if Gerald is with you, the pain might be a little easier to bear.”
“I don’t want to involve him in unnecessary pain,” Ariana replied wearily. “I don’t want to make him choose,” she continued.
Mrs. Rosaline reached for Ariana’s hand and squeezed it gently. “But life is about choices, dear. Not everything in this world can be ours. If you want one thing, it means you have to let go of something else. Isn’t that right?” Mrs. Rosaline asked, trying to convince her. Ariana could only remain silent, while at the same time, her chest felt tight.
She shifted her attention to Axel, who was still focused on the screen in front of him. The little child had slowly captured her heart, as did his father. “Isn’t there any way to expedite the custody process?” she asked Mrs. Rosaline again.
“Why? What will you do after Axel’s custody is settled?”
Ariana forced a smile. “Maybe find some peace somewhere?” she asked hesitantly.
“Ariana, listen to me. I don’t want you to regret later on,” Mrs. Rosaline said, squeezing Ariana’s hand gently. “Right now, Gerald does love you. He will still forgive any mistakes you make. But he’s not a saint. The Gerald I know is not a man who will just sit idly if he’s hurt. He’s the revengeful type. So, it’s better if you tell him everything now before he misunderstands further and ends up hating you,” the old woman pleaded with her pitiful gaze.
“Maybe at that time, I won’t be able to feel his hatred,” Ariana replied softly.
“Ariana, please. Don’t be so stubborn,” said Mrs. Rosaline again. “It’s like you’re defending yourself in a pit of pain you’ve created yourself. Try once more to trust someone else,” Mrs. Rosaline pleaded again.
Ariana looked down. “If only I could,” she said softly. “I’ve tried all ways to change myself, to give my trust to others. But it only makes things worse. I feel tired,” Ariana replied. “I’m tired of being hurt. That’s why I prefer to suffer alone rather than hurt or be hurt by others.”
“But what you’re doing now is hurting Gerald,” Mrs. Rosaline admonished. “Believe me, give your heart completely to him. He won’t hurt you, dear.” However, no matter how hard Mrs. Rosaline tried to persuade her, Ariana seemed unyielding.
“When everything is over, whatever the outcome, I hope I can give Gerald what he wants. Something that can make him happy, even if it won’t earn his forgiveness.”