Married to the mafia boss Series

Charlotte

I’ve been back home for a week now.

It’s been weird. It feels like a dream within a dream. Like something I made up in a dream because I can’t believe I’m here.

I left Italy that same night Antonio was killed. I had savings. A shit load of savings.

The moment I realized freedom was mine I left. Probably a little like everyone else had.

It was when I got on the plane that I put it all together.

The quiet house, no one around. It was planned.

I think the only person who could have had influence like that is Bernado, Benita’s son. Everyone looked to him when Benita was murdered.

While I’m not sure what he thinks of me I don’t know if I was part of the strategy that was unleashed.

I have a very bad feeling that I’m part of a different plan but it’s not something I’m going to allow to bother me. Not until I have to.

The minute I walked up the driveway to my family home I cast my mind back to when I left. When I was taken.

Coming back felt a little like watching the end of Shawshank Redemption. It felt just like that part at the end when Andy, the main character, gets to his boat on that beautiful Island and you know he’s free. What’s better is when his friend joins him.

It wasn’t seeing my house or my family that felt like that part to me. It was the fact I made it.

They’re all so happy to see me, but I’m not staying.

They don’t know that part yet.

I won’t tell them until I’m ready to.

Ma comes to the door and smiles at me. She’s holding a tray of food with an assortment of pastries I know she’s spent hours making. It’s Monday afternoon and we usually have a feast on Mondays. Time hasn’t changed that, what it has changed though is my mother’s appearance.

She looks as terrible as everybody else here.

Very thin, skeletal, and aged. Pa looks the same. What is familiar to me , however, is their love.

“I made your favorites,” she says, coming into my room.

My room, it feels so good to say that.

I’m in my room and I’m curled up in my bed like I used to. I may not have my music on like the vibrant girl I used to be but she’s in there somewhere and I feel comfort just resting on my pillows.

“Thank you,” I tell her with gratitude. She rests the tray on the night stand and sits on the edge of the bed and looks at me.

I crawl over to her and rest my head in her lap. She hasn’t been able to stop touching me since I got back. Her hands go straight to my hair and she starts undoing the braids she put in this morning.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” she whispers, stroking my cheek. “My little girl. I can’t believe you’re actually in my arms.”

“Me too… Ma, I can’t believe it either. It feels like a dream. Not real yet. Part of me wants to hang onto the dreamlike feel because I don’t want to wake up and either remember what happened or wake up and be back in Italy.”

My hands start shaking at the wave of emotion that takes me. I can’t help it because no one really knows what happened to me. Nobody.

I told the parts I needed to. They know someone killed Antonio.

That’s all.

As for the part about who it was… no. I’m not talking about that at all.

No one will hear that part from me. Nobody. Not the feds who called yesterday, and not even God himself. I will not tell because somehow I feel as though revealing that would be a fate worse than death.

He knew I wouldn’t say anything.

Tobias Antonella knew I wouldn’t say anything even without him telling me to keep quiet. He knew, so I’m keeping quiet about that and about all that happened to me while I was with Antonio.

I will never tell anyone about the horrible life I lived as a slut.

When a tear falls on to my lap I realize Ma is crying again and I sit up.

She dries her eyes and looks me over.

“I’m sorry. I feel bad crying. It’s you who was taken and not me,” Ma surmises.

“Ma, we all had something to grieve over. We all did. All of us, not just me. I know you must have been worried sick.” I stroke her hand.

“Yes. I was my dear girl. I worried every day… all day. Nothing could console me, my two beautiful sons murdered and my mother right before my eyes. Then my baby girl taken away from me. Just like that, all in one day. It’s a hard thing to live with.”

“I know. I do know. I will never forget that day, not ever.” I fight back tears.

It was what I’m told left my family crippled financially. Bad enough to break their hearts and worse knowing the dire financial circumstances but Pa wasn’t able to rebuild. Antonio made sure of that.

We have a motel now that brings in enough money to run the home. The house was remortgaged to get it and it seems like it’s a step in the right direction. Pa sold his previous business to some investors and moved on from it. He looks just like Ma with the thin, gaunt, forsaken look.

He’s not here now because he insisted on going to the store to get me some fresh fruit. Everyone has been fussing over me. So happy to see me. I’m just happy they’re alive.

Cordelia comes to the door and looks in on us.

In the past she would have been jealous as fuck to see Ma fussing over me the way she is.

That person she used to be is not the one looking at me from the door. It’s the glimmer of what I remember when I saw her reaching for me when I was taken.

The glimmer and something else.

She had cancer.

My sister had cancer and I wasn’t here to help her.

She lost all her hair and can’t have kids. It was ovarian cancer.

Her hair is boy-short with the ends flicked up about her ears. It looks like she styled it that way, but the truth is something that breaks my heart. She’d moved out and had her own place but moved back here after she got sick.

“Hey … can I come in?” she asks. That’s new too, asking for stuff.

Ma smiles. It must be nice to see us getting along, no matter the circumstances.

“Of course,” I tell her.

“Why don’t I allow you girls to talk and I’ll go start dinner?”

“Dinner Ma? I feel like I’ve eaten enough to feed a small village.” I can’t believe I made a joke, haven’t made one of those in a long time, very long time. It feels weird those words came out of my mouth.

“Humor me, ragazza dolce, per favore. Just humor me, please,” Ma says, clasping her hands. She lowers to give me a kiss on my forehead and she does the same to Cordelia when she gets to her. With one last smile she leaves us.

Cordelia comes in and takes her seat where Ma was. She’s carrying a small bag, one of those embroidery bead bags. It looks like something she made back in the day.

“This is for you,” she says, handing it to me.

“Me?”

“Yeah. I made the bag last night, thought you might like it. But the stuff inside is a mix of things that already belong to you and something else.” She gives me a coy smile.

I’m amazed at the bubble of excitement that fills me. We were always the sisters who were at each other’s throats. She’s five years older than me. We were okay until I got to the age of twelve. Before that she saw me as a living doll she used to dress up. Then all the boys started looking at me instead of her and I lost her.

“Thank you, means a lot.” I give her a hug and when I move to sit back she continues holding me for a few seconds before she releases me.

“I’m sorry.” She dabs at her eyes. “I am, I just …I hope you know I appreciate all you must have done for us. We’re still alive and no one bothered us after that day. It didn’t mean shit because I knew you were suffering.”

It means a lot to hear her say such things to me because I thought she hated me.

“I did. I can’t express how bad it was and what happened to me.”

“What did happen?” Curiosity fills her bright brown eyes.

As soon as she asks the words I find myself shaking my head and cowering away. It’s the kind of behavior of someone who’s been abused.

“I can’t. I don’t … I mean…” My voice trails off. I want to talk, of course I want to answer their questions but I can’t. Saying it all out loud makes it real.

It makes it real and I’ll know then that all those men who were with me and all the people who died because I did something ridiculous like look the wrong way really happened. It really did happen. It wasn’t just a ten year nightmare, it actually did happen.

“I’m sorry… I know you want to know but I just can’t talk about it.” I give her a little smile.

She reaches forward and takes my hand into hers. “It’s okay. You’re home now. Oh Charlotte… I’m so sorry.” She dries away more tears. “I tried, you know… I tried. There were some guys left behind after the men took you. I begged them to take me instead. I was a complete bitch to you but … I never wanted that to happen to you. Antonio wanted you. The killings were specific. Except maybe Abuelita. He killed the boys because they’re Pa’s sons and he took you because of your beauty. I was left because I’m not… well I’m not like you.”

I suck in my breath as a tear runs down my cheek. I feel just awful hearing this. I do, it’s all so dreadful.

“Cordelia, you didn’t have to do that for me. You’re beautiful the way you are.”

She gives me a little chuckle. “It’s okay. I’m past that. When you’re given something as serious as cancer, all of that is so trivial. So very trivial. What hurt me the most was feeling helpless, like I could do nothing. I couldn’t even offer myself as a swap for my baby sister. Something snapped in me that moment, when I realized they were going to take you. My last sibling left, and the baby. I tried, tried to stop it.”

I dip my head with appreciation and flip my hand over hers so it’s me who is holding her hand. “Thank you. Cordelia. Thank you.”

“Open the bag. There’s something inside that will cheer you right up. In fact I think it should redeem me a little bit for being such a bitch.” She chuckles and nods her head.

I wonder what on earth it could be so I look in the bag. I pull out my old diary and the box Abuelita made for me. There’s also a large white envelope.

I look at the diary and the book and focus on those for a moment.

“It seems fitting that I should give those back to you. I never gave you back your diary and you didn’t know I had the box,” Cordelia says.

I recall how we were arguing over the diary and Gabe.

“It’s okay.” I raise my shoulder into a shrug. “Thank you for this.”

I try to act like I’m okay but I’m not. It’s so strange to be looking at all of these things that were very much a part of my life. My two things and both were given to me by Abuelita.

Instead of lingering on them I look to the envelope. I’m guessing this must be what Cordelia is talking about in the way of redeeming herself.

I open it and see the letter inside from Raventhorne Academy. A rush of warmth cascades over me and I look from her to the letter and back to her as she smiles.

“Read it.”

I do.

Dear Miss Revello,

After viewing your impressive application and experience, it is with great honor that we invite you to an interview for the English literature teaching position here at the academy…

I can’t read anymore. Tears fill my eyes and I can’t see to continue. I can’t see or anything. The emotion that has swelled within me is so great that it washes through every fiber of my being.

“How is this possible Cordelia?” I gasp.

She gives me a guilty but mischievous look. “I pretended to be you and applied. I’m sorry. It seemed like your thing. While we were unpacking I saw your university certificates and a letter from the school in Italy so I just thought, hey why not. And it worked. My charity works closely with the academy.”

Cordelia works for a charity that does fundraising events to help fund the scholarships to various schools. I’m guessing the prestigious Raventhorne Academy falls into that category. And I have an interview there.

Oh my God.

I throw my arms around her and burst into tears with delight. I must look crazy. Crying for the past and all I’ve been through and this amazingly great news.

“Thank you so much Cordelia. Thanks so much. I haven’t taught in years and even when I was teaching it was …” I can’t quite explain it.

I sit back and look her over.

“But you got to teach.” She offers.

“Yeah. It was a small thing I was allowed. Then it stopped three years ago. I pissed Antonio off so he taught me a lesson by taking the job away from me and all my books, all the books I loved.”

“Christ… I’m so sorry. Well… this will be good for you and it’s an academy.” She says, eyes wide with fascination.

“I know, oh my gosh I never saw myself at somewhere like that.” I thought something more like a state school. An academy would be amazing. A definite step in the right direction for what I have planned.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

My plan which is to basically leave this life and my past behind. Leave it all in the past.

I don’t mean to abandon my family, no never that, but I don’t want to be dragged into shit ever again. The last ten years of my life were about them. Worried over what could happen to them and that they would die if I did the wrong thing.

This next phase of my life will be about me, repairing and growing and being the person I hoped I would be.

This wonderful opportunity is a step toward that and takes out the hassle of job hunting if I get the job.

But I still have one last thing to do.

One more thing to do, one last person to see then I can truly close the chapter on the past.

Gabriel.

I just want to see him one last time then that will be it.