# 3—Chapter 36
Angelo
I feel on edge all of dinner.
Liliana and Antonio sit next to each other with Viola in a high chair next to my sister and across the table Arabella and Carmelo sit next to each other. I watch the couple exchange smiles and touch and it reminds me again of how alone I am.
I glance over at Antonio who whispers something in Liliana’s ear that makes her blush and giggle. I stand abruptly and throw my plate across the room. Antonio is quick to stand and apprehend me.
“What the fuck?!” He growls in my ear as I can hear Liliana softly sob.
Before I can open my mouth Antonio has his arm around my throat and he drags me away from the kitchen and up the stairs to one of the spare bedrooms.
He shuts the door behind us and rubs frustratedly at his forehead. “You mind telling me what the hell that was about?”
I stare at the ground. I can tell him, sure, but I don’t.
Antonio grabs my jaw and forces my head to level with his so we’re looking at each other. “Hmm?”
“Get the fuck off me,” I push him.
“No you don’t. Not in my fucking home. I love Liliana with all my heart but I swear to ducking God Angelo I will beat the shit out of you and throw you out.”
“Who the fuck cares?”
He scoffs. “Is that your mentality? Who cares? What? You’re going to destroy your life and for what because some Russian pussy blew your mind? Is that it?”
I throw a punch at him and he does exactly what he says, he starts beating the shit out of me. Punch after punch I try to keep up but he has more will to want to win, so I let him.
“Stop!” Liliana cries out. “Stop, please stop!”Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.
Antinio holds his fist in the air, mid-punch. “Liliana, go downstairs.”
“No,” she rushes over to him and puts her hand on his chest. “Let me talk to him, please.”
“No,” Antonio’s jaw ticks. “I don’t trust him alone with you.”
“He won’t hurt me!”
Antonio shakes his head. “Your brother is about as self-destructive as a bomb and he doesn’t care who is in the way when he goes off.”
Liliana sighs, slumping her shoulders. She looks so sad. The whites of her eyes red from crying. “Angelo, what’s wrong? What happened?”
“Nothing,” I spit out.
“Please, tell me. If something triggered you, we can make sure not to do it again. I want to help you.”
“No one can help me!” I shout. “Your husband flew to Boston and thought he was helping me but he ruined my life!” I’m heaving. “I shouldn’t have come here,” I murmur to myself.
“No, don’t say that,” I can clearly hear the desperation in her voice. “What can we do to fix things?”
“Nothing,” I coldly reply.
I don’t let anyone say anything in response. I let them watch as I take out my hearing aid and stick it in my pocket.
The world and my thoughts are too loud right now. So I leave myself to the ceaseless ringing and let it be a welcome distraction.
After I’ve calmed down alone for a few hours, I go downstairs to try and apologize. From the top of the stairs I see Liliana is sitting on the couch cuddled underneath Antonio’s arm and Viola laying her head on her mother’s lap. The television is on playing her favorite show, M*A*S*H. I don’t want to disrupt them so I turn around only to find Arabella in the hallway.
I read her lips, “Hey, how are you feeling?”
Putting my hearing aid back on I reply, “I don’t know.”
“What’s going on with you? Liliana tells me you’ve been acting different lately, more distant and clearly more hostile.”
“What’s it to you?” I shrug.
She presses her lips into a straight line. “Be real with me. We all want to help you.”
I groan, running my hands frustratedly through my hair. “What do any of you not get? You can’t help me.”
“And why not?” She puts her hands on her hips. “Why can’t we?”
“Because you can’t,” I start to walk away.
“Is it about that girl?” She calls out to me. I stop in my tracks. I turn to look at her over my shoulder. “Liliana told me when she went to visit you, you had that Russian girl in your penthouse. I hear she’s deaf, too.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?” I scowl at her.
“I think you finally had someone who understands what you’re going through.” I wait for her to continue. “And you liked that and then you lost her.”
“I lost her because she is my daughters enemy,” I say through gritted teeth.
“But that doesn’t matter to you. You don’t see her as the enemy, do you?” She asks and I shake my head. “Did you love her?”
I swallow hard. “Yes,” I can barely croak out.
“What stopped you from fighting for her?”
I clench my fists. “You damn well know!”
“When I was about to marry Gaetano and Carmelo and I made that split second to run away together, we didn’t care. We didn’t care that it was against the Mafia because all we cared about was that we would be together.”
“Antonio pardoned you and gave you your happy ending. Antonio is the one who sent my one true love away.”
“Like I said, what stopped you from fighting for her?”
Her words sink in deep. I start to panic. “I have to get back to Boston. I have to get her back!”
Arabella pretends to zip her lips. “I won’t say a word. Good luck, Angelo.”
“But what… what if she doesn’t want me back?”
Arabella puts her hand on my shoulder. “If she doesn’t then you have closure. If you do then you won’t have to wonder what could have been for the rest of your life.”
“Antonio and Liliana are downstairs. I won’t be able to sneak past them.”
“I’ll take care of them,” is all she says before heading down the stairs to cause a distraction.
I watch sneakily from the top of the stairs as Arabella leads them into the kitchen, I tip-toe down the stairs already formulating a plan to get her back. I was able to kidnap her once-well Christian and Piero technically were-but I think I can do it again.
I have to do it again.
I’m nearly in the clear as I reach for foyer, my finger inches from the elevator button. Everything is going smoothly until I hear, “Angelo?”
I close my eyes and sigh. Damn. I turn to face my sister, she looks distraught. “Where are you going?”
“Back to Boston,” I have no reason to lie to her. She deserves the truth.
“Is it because of her?” She wipes her eyes on the sleeve of her sweater. “Are you angry because of that Russian girl?”
“Her name is Anastasia,” I say softly.
“You know the Mafia will never allow it.”
“I know.”
“But you don’t care?”
I shake my head. “Not anymore.”
Liliana wraps her arms around me tight and kisses my cheek. “I love you, Angelo. I want you to be happy. I kept telling Antonio that maybe it was just a fling and the feelings would end once everything was back to normal. I’m so sorry,” she sniffles, “I pushed Antonio to make that deal with Vasiliev. The deal that ended in you having to give Anastasia back. I thought we were helping.”
“I love you too, Lily. You have grown so much in these past three years. You are a wonderful mother and I admire you always. Take care of them and tell them I love them.”
“You’re not coming back are you?” She stares down at her feet.
“I don’t think so,” I whisper. “They’ll kill me.”
“My brother lives in New York City, Nico he’s their Consigliere, if you need anything. A place to stay or fake passports, he’ll help you. He owes me,” she smirks.
“Thank you.”
I relish in our hug lingering longer than I probably should’ve, Antonio could step into the foyer at any minute. There is still so much I would like to say to my sister, so much to apologize for, but maybe I’ll have the chance to do it another day.
I enter the elevator and wave goodbye to my teary eyed sister as the doors slowly close. I call to make arranged for my private plane to leave for Boston as soon as possible. Antonio’s driver is outside and from the time it took to take the elevator down to the lobby, Liliana must’ve called and told her driver where to take me.
My leg won’t stop bouncing the entire car ride. I’m anxious and mainly regretful that I didn’t fight hard for her. I should have opened my eyes wider. Anastasia was mad at me because she wanted me to find a solution. She didn’t care that we would live looking over our shoulders everyday, it would be better than not being together at all. I understand that now. Life without her is worse fate than death.
I used so many excuses with her. I should’ve took her away when I had the chance. I’m prepared now. I’m prepared to go to the ends of the Earth to be with her. I will go in enemy territory and risk my life to get her back. She is worth everything. She is my missing link and I won’t be able to function, won’t be able to be happy or even breath, until she is back by my side.