Book TRK
CHAPTER 12
ANITA'S POV
The disappointment that I felt was unmatched. I had opened my heart to him, I had told him about what I felt towards him but he didn't really care.
All that he focused on was the fact that I had broken the rules of the school. He didn't even for a moment pause and think that I did all that because of him.
I had listened to Serah and trusted her to go on this mission but I ended up feeling humiliated. What's worse is that she is not consuming me amid this intense heartbreak that I am feeling.
As I ran to my room crying, what he had said to me replayed through my mind over and over again. He had made it clear that he was not in love with me and hearing him say this really hurt me. I needed him, I needed his love.
As a matter of fact, I knew that after I told him the truth about my feelings, we were going to end up kissing but that did not happen. I thought that I would sleep in his arms if he was a man who embraces spontaneity but to shock on me, he acted like he really didn't care for what I said.
For a second or so, he acted like he was happy to hear my confession but the next second, he was back to being the cold Alpha that I have loved regardless of that.
I couldn't read his mind and that is what really confused me. I didn't know whether he liked me or not. Even if he made it very clear that he didn't want anything to do with me, I could feel it in my soul that he loved me, he was only denying that fact.
As soon as I got to my room, I wiped away the makeup which was ruined by my tears and went ahead to wear my pyjamas. I kept on thinking to myself that I shouldn't have gone out there.
Girls really have a hard time handling rejection and I really wondered why I decided to go and shoot my shot only to end up feeling rejected and unwanted.
I had dressed up so nicely for him but he didn't end up noticing. It felt like all my efforts had gone to waste. He just didn't care about me, all he cared about was his power and his authority.
But why was he doing this? Why do people do this? Always follow your heart, I know he loves me. His ego and power is what doesn't allow him to be vulnerable with me and it's such a shame.
Up to now, I had not really sat down and planned the whole revenge against my sister and this made me realise that I was focusing on the wrong things. My sister should be my number one priority, not Alpha Robin. My sister needs me more than ever and I have to stop all this chasing and put all that energy on avenging her death.
Maybe it's high time I stop feeding my delusion and see things for what they are. Alpha Robin had said it on my face that he didn't like me, why the hell am I still obsessed with him. It's not like he is the only guy in the world who I can be with, Ben is right here with me and he had made a proposal towards me. How about I give that easy love a chance?
Love doesn't have to be hard. If he's hard then that is not love.
Alpha Robin has so many flaws and honestly I had to stop thinking about him. First he was not as strong as people perceive him to be. I am not talking about physical strength but mental strength. If he cannot govern matters of his heart then he is not as strong as he thinks he is. Deep down, I know he is weak, he is hiding a secret, something broke him completely in the past and that is why he is putting love in the back seat.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.
I don't know what his secret is but I am going to task myself to getting to the root of the matter. After avenging my sister's death, I am going to start digging the skeletons in his closet.
He was not going to eliminate me so easily, I was not going to allow it. For now, I have to ignore him and move on with my life. If I keep on bugging him with my feelings, he is going to call off the deal and I will miss the most important thing and that is seeing Alpha Lewis suffer for what he did to my sister. Alpha Lewis is not ready for what is to come his way, he clearly underestimated me and I am going to prove him wrong. He will regret ever hurting my sister and beating her up till she passed away.
Despite the immense sadness that I felt, the constant pain in my heart, I had to let him go. It was for the best. Holding on to him was going to do me more harm than good, it was about time that I fully let him go.
**
I woke up at the crack of dawn, I didn't want to get out of bed but I had to. I had not gotten enough sleep but that was not an excuse. I should be resting instead of going outside to seduce Alpha Robin. What good did I get out of it, absolutely nothing.
I changed into my active wear after taking a shower, carried my water bottle and got out of my room. This was the first day training and I had to arrive there on time. I did not want to give Alpha Robin a reason to kick me out of the fighting team.
It seems like I went to the field so early because upon my arrival, I found myself alone with Alpha Robin.
No one else had arrived except for the two of us.