Chapter 33 Guilt!
Alexander’s P. O. V.
I sit in my chair, puffing on my cigarette, when suddenly the door of my room bursts open and Edward enters the room.
“Why did you cancel such a vital deal, Alex?” By the look on his face, I already understood that he would ask me this.
I can’t tell him I did it for Alice, my submissive. Then he’ll question me about why I did this for my submissive, and I’ll have no answer.
Because even I am seeking an answer to this question. Why, why am I becoming so possessive of my submissive? What exactly is she doing to me?
“I fought with the client.” I lie, exhaling a cloud of smoke to mask my unease.
“Why? You have invested a lot of money in it, bro,” Edward presses, his tone insistent.
“Edward, please leave. I’m in a bad mood right now.” My voice is tinged with irritation as I command him. I need him to leave before he probes any further and uncovers the truth that I’m struggling to comprehend myself.
“Call your submissive, and change your mood.” He walks away after winking at me, unaware that my submissive is the sole source of my frustration.
As he exits the room, I toss my cigarette aside and rest my head in my hands.
I’m not understanding what is happening to me. Why am I changing? I don’t want to feel all the fucking emotions because they only make the human weak, and I can’t become weak.
Alice is just my submissive, nothing more. I remind myself of this, clinging to the belief that I am still the heartless monster I’ve always been.
Then why do I always wonder about her? Why do I remain desperate to meet her? How come I feel her pain? Why does it hurt me to punish her?
Fuck, I’ll surely lose my mind.
A soft knock on the draws me back to the earth.
“Come in.” I respond, straightening up in my chair.
Alice walks into the room in her maid outfit.
“Come to me.” I order her in a stern tone.
She approaches me; her steps quiet. As she stands before me, I seize her arm, pulling her down with force, and the sound of her gasp fills the room.
I squeeze her jaw with my other hand, digging my nails into her delicate skin. “You’re just my personal maid, Alice, and nothing else. Do you understand?” I grit my teeth and glare at her, my eyes are scorching red in anger.
“Are you making me understand or yourself, Master?” She questions me, her intoxicating blue eyes pierce my heart, leaving me tongue-tied.
She’s right. I am making myself understand, to reaffirm the boundaries I’ve set for her in my mind.
“Just shut up. I’m making you understand.” I slightly push her away and retort, my voice filled with frustration.
“Relax, Master. I know I’m just your personal maid.” She utters and walks to the table.
She returns to me with a cigarette and lighter and sits astride me on my lap. She places the cigarette in my mouth and lights it with the lighter, her gaze locked onto mine with unwavering intensity.
I gaze at her, utterly losing myself in her heavenly beauty. Every time I look into her blue oceanic eyes, I drown in them.
I take a deep drag and blow out a cloud of smoke while my focus remains fixated on her.
“Get the fuck out of here.” As the reality hits me, I give her a harsh push, and the sound of her body colliding with the floor echoes in the silence.
I stand up in shock as she yelps in pain, holding her elbow.
Fuck, it’s bleeding.
She gets up from the floor and presses her lips together to endure the pain. I look at her with concern in my eyes, guilt etched on every line of my face.
I had no intention of hurting her.
It’s just a minor wound, she’ll be fine, Alexander. Just relax and stop feeling guilty. She is merely your maid.
She leaves the room without a word, without even a glance in my direction, and I fight the urge to stop her and put the ointment on her wound.
“Fuck!” I grab the vase off the table and hurl it at the wall in outrage. I’m extremely furious with myself.
***
I can’t sleep at night, tossing and turning as her wound flashes in front of my eyes constantly.
I want to confirm if she has applied the ointment to her wound or not.
“What the fuck is wrong with me?” I yell at myself in frustration.
‘You’re worried for her, idiot.’ My heart responds.
I have to check on her, otherwise, I won’t be able to sleep.
I jump out of the bed and hurry to her room, clad only in black joggers.
‘What will I say to her?’ I come to a halt on my track as this thought pops into my mind.
I’ll make any excuse.
I peer through the window and find her sleeping. A sigh of relief escapes my lips, realizing that I won’t need to utter a single word to her.
Her injured hand lies tucked under the comforter. I have to go inside to check her hand, so I slowly push open the door and tiptoe towards her.
I kneel beside her bed and gaze at her face with a tenderness I never thought I possessed. The soft melody of her snoring fills the room.
“She is so beautiful.” I murmur after brushing aside a few stray strands of hair and tucking them behind her ear.
I pull down the comforter to see her elbow. My eyes glint with guilt once again as I see her injured elbow. As expected, she hasn’t applied the ointment. It may be a minor injury, but the pain it must cause her fills me with unease. I empathise with her pain as if it is my own.
It hurts me even more because I inflicted this injury on her.
“Alice, I’m sorry.” I whisper, my voice laced with remorse. I lean down and press a soft kiss upon her wound, trying to give her solace through my touch.
“Just to prove myself heartless, I’m hurting this pure and innocent soul. I know she doesn’t deserve this, but I have nothing to give her except pain.” I whisper, gazing at her angelic face.
As she moves her hand, I immediately hide under the bed.
Oh God, what is this girl making me do?Exclusive © material by Nô(/v)elDrama.Org.
I never thought that I would ever hide under somebody’s bed like this.
As she throws her hand out of the bed, I resist my urge to hold it.
But at last, I give up and take her soft hand in mine. I close my eyes, feeling the warmth of her hand.
Right now, I’m just following my heart.
Wait for a second, she has to sleep in my room tonight. As I recall her punishment, a small smile tugs at the corners of my lips because now I have the perfect excuse to take her to my room and treat her wound.