: Chapter 14
IT’S FINALLY NIGHTTIME. I can soon be done with this charade.
Unfortunately, being able to see the stars only prompts Draxen to talk more.
“You see this constellation here?” He points north. “And this one here?” He points toward the south.
“Yes.”
“They weren’t always stars.”
“What were they?” It’s incredibly sappy of him to use this story.
“They were lovers. Filirrion”—he points to the one in the south—“and Emphitria.” He indicates the one in the north. “Theirs is said to be the greatest love story ever told. Sadly, it does not end well.”
“What happened?” I ask, hoping he’ll move it along more quickly.
“There was another in love with Emphitria: Xiomen—a sorcerer of the blackest arts. He loved her dearly, but Emphitria had eyes only for Filirrion. Enraged by his jealousy, Xiomen cursed them both. He changed their forms and placed them both in the sky, on opposite ends of the world so they could never be together.”
“How tragic,” I say.
Draxen nods. “While all the other stars in the sky move, there are three constellations that never change. Filirrion and Emphitria are two of them.”
“Who is the third?”
Draxen points upward again. “Xiomen. It wasn’t enough to separate them. So he cursed himself as well. There he remains, equidistant from the two lovers, blocking their view of each other. See how he’s pointed toward Emphitria and she toward him?”
“Yes.”
“Emphitria tries to see her Filirrion, but no matter how hard she looks, she can never see past Xiomen’s form.”
If this story ever persuaded a woman to climb into bed with Draxen, I’d slice my arm off.
A soft silence follows his story. Every once in a while, I lead us off course, forcing Draxen to grab my hands and redirect me. He doesn’t think I’m trying to steer us away. He only thinks me incompetent. I’m giving him encouragement to touch me, to want more. To take me into his quarters so I can search him for the map.
The night sailor comes up top. “Shall I take over, Captain?”
“Yes, I think I’ll retire now.”
“Very good, then.”
“Come over here, girl,” Draxen demands. I follow him over to the door leading to his quarters. “Shall we continue our discussion of the constellations for a while more?”
“Oh yes.” As if we could still see the constellations while in his room. Blundering idiot. I don’t know how much longer I can stand this.
Draxen lights a few candles once we’re alone in his quarters.
“Tell me more about the two lovers,” I say.
“I’ve a better idea,” he says.
Here it comes. He just wanted me alone so his crew wouldn’t see him. Or see me struggle. Though I don’t see how he can conceal what we’re doing when every man still on deck saw me enter his room.
“And what might that be?” I ask.
“Lie on the bed.”
“What for?”
He loves my questions. He wants to answer them. He wants to show me. He’s too caught up in the moment to realize this is all a ploy. He should know better. But when I focus on one man, they never can tell. They’re too caught up in, well, me.
“I’m going to show you something more magical than the stars.”
Oh yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. I can’t do this. I can’t stand to hear him talk anymore. He needs to shut his mouth.
I step forward, get right into his face. “How about if I show you?” When I lift my head up to his, he greedily meets me for a kiss.
He’s not a bad kisser—though I doubt Draxen has had as much practice as Riden.
But I get no enjoyment out of this. Because I’m not bored and looking for fun. I’m trying to get something done. And I know exactly the kind of foul man Draxen is. It’s impossible to ignore when I’m so focused on the desires of his heart and mind.
I remove his coat and toss it to the floor with the intent to search it soon. Draxen takes it for an invitation. He goes right for my breeches, fumbling with the clasp.
Ugh. That’s enough of that.
I shove Draxen down onto the bed and climb on top of him. From there I make it look as though I’m hurrying to undo the belt on his pants. I can feel the lust burning in him. It’s disgusting and wretched, and I want to stamp it out.
When I get his belt buckle undone, I slide off his sword, sheath and all.
I use the end to knock him out, square on the head.
“Oof,” he says before lying down, motionless.
I’m not sure what’s worse: what I just did or what I still have to do.
Don’t look at him, I tell myself. Focus on the clothes. Not what lies beneath.
I undress him. Every last article of clothing. I leave him lying naked on the bed while I search through every pocket, check for hidden linings, a fake sole in his boots.
But it’s …
Not here.Exclusive © content by N(ô)ve/l/Drama.Org.
My stomach sinks. How can it not be here? I was so sure. I was desperately counting on it. Now what am I to do once he wakes? He’ll know I conked him. He’ll know I used him for something. And he will not be happy.
And then we’ll soon reach my father. And he’ll—
No, I have to stop that line of thinking at once. It’ll do me no good. I must keep my mind firmly in the present. How can I fix this?
Singing Draxen into forgetfulness isn’t an option. I haven’t enough song left to erase his memories. Fiddling with memories takes more than putting men to sleep.
I’ve made a fine mess of things. Seduce Draxen? That has to be my worst idea yet.
I have to cover my mouth to keep from grunting out in frustration.
Suddenly, there’s banging at the door.
“Draxen!” It’s Riden. “Open up now or I’m coming in.”
I hear the handle unlatching, so I race to the door. As it opens, I climb out and shut it behind me before Riden can see inside.
“What is going on?” he asks.
“Your brother was telling me about the constellations,” I say.
Riden’s eyes widen. This must be a usual play for Draxen. “He didn’t…”
“Didn’t what?” I ask.
“You didn’t let him…” He can’t get it out.
“Riden, we were hardly in there for two minutes.”
He shakes his head. “Of course. But what’s he doing now, then?” His eyes widen. “Tell me you didn’t kill him!”
While I’m flattered he knows I’m easily capable of killing Draxen, I still roll my eyes. “I didn’t kill him.”
“Then why isn’t he yelling and swearing?”
Fair point, that. I’ll have to throw in a bit of honesty if I’m to get out of this one. “He was getting too handsy, so I knocked him out.”
Riden relaxes a bit. I find it humorous that he isn’t offended or worried I knocked out his brother. He eyes the door.
He absolutely cannot go in there. I can’t explain why Draxen’s naked if I didn’t bed him, and, well, I don’t want Riden thinking I bedded him.
“What is going on, Alosa? Why did you go in there in the first place?”
We need to get away from here. Right now. I don’t know how much time I have before Draxen wakes.
“Can we talk somewhere else?” I ask. “Back in your room, maybe? I’ll answer all your questions. It’s cold out here.”
He still eyes me suspiciously, but he finally consents, weaving the way back toward his room. There’s extra force in his strides. Riden leaps onto the main deck, not bothering with the stairs. The night watchmen turn their heads to see the cause of the racket. When Riden wrenches open the door to his room, I can’t help but smile. He’s in a mood.
But my amusement vanishes almost instantly. I have a big problem. It’s taking everything I have not to panic. Maybe I should go back and kill Draxen. When he wakes up, everything will go to hell anyway. And Draxen deserves to die.
I’m just not sure I could do that to Riden. For reasons I can’t explain, he loves his brother. I think he would be devastated at his death. Maybe even broken.
But what other choice do I have? Where else could the map possibly be? If it’s not on the ship and Draxen doesn’t carry it on his person—
I’m staring at Riden’s back when it hits.
What if Riden has it?
After I searched Draxen’s room on the first night of my capture, my next thought was that he might’ve given the map to Riden to hide. But what if Riden hides it on his person? How could I be so slow? I’ve had ample opportunities to check Riden for it. On the night I sang him to sleep, not even a hurricane could have woken him.
Now I suppose I’ll have to knock him out like I did Draxen. I can’t really do any more harm now, can I? I’ve already sabotaged the mission. Or perhaps not. Maybe when Draxen wakes, he’ll do no more than put me back in my cell. But I doubt it.
When we’re alone, Riden stands expectantly, arms crossed. As soon as I knocked Draxen out, I released the siren part of me. It takes its toll on my mind after a while. It’s hard to explain, but I lose myself in others if I’m focused on their feelings and desires for too long. They start to become my own, and I forget who I am. It’s terrifying. Father would push me, help me understand how long I can endure being consumed in others before I start to become like them. I’ve never allowed myself to pass my breaking point since then.
If that weren’t enough, I have to deal with the short-term side effects as well, the feelings of otherworldliness. I hate the desires and emotions that are as clear to me as paint on a canvas. They’re not mine, and I don’t like feeling them, sensing them. Besides, I don’t need to read Riden. I just have to be careful because he’s already suspicious and confused. If I’m to get the drop on him, I’ll first need to get him to relax, to talk. I’ll need to give him lies mixed with truths.
“I’m worried, Riden,” I start. “My father—he may seem as if he cares for me, as if he’s eager to have me back in exchange for a ransom, but he’ll be furious with me.”
“Why?” he asks.
“For getting caught in the first place. He’ll think me careless and stupid. And he’ll rage about the money he lost as a result. I—I don’t know what he’ll do to me once he gets me back.”
Riden glances down at my legs, no doubt remembering the scars he once saw there. “I can believe that, but what was with all of that?” He jerks his thumb in the direction of the deck. His face hardens.
“I was trying to get Draxen’s attention. I needed to speak with him about it. I thought maybe we could work something out. Find a way for him to get his money and for me to be set free.”
“And?”
“Draxen wasn’t interested in talking.”
Riden winces at that. He puts his hand up to his face, scratches the back of his head. “I’ll speak to him.”
I don’t have to fake my confusion. “About what?”
“I’m sure there’s a way we can get our money and then let you walk free. You’ll have to divulge all the information you’ve been holding back, but you don’t have to return to your father.”
I laugh, a short, doubtful sound. “Where else would I go?”
“Anywhere.”
“He’ll find me no matter where I go.”
“Then don’t leave. Stay.” Riden’s mouth widens at his own exclamation.
“Stay? Why ever would I do that?”
“I don’t know why I said that. Forget it.”
He looks very uncomfortable, possibly ready to bolt. I need to act quickly. How am I to get a clear shot to his head? And what am I supposed to knock him out with? Riden’s removed all weapons from the room. And he’s definitely still suspicious after everything that happened with Draxen.
This doesn’t leave me with many options. It’s hard to think clearly when everything’s falling apart. For now, I need to keep him talking. Something will come to me eventually.
“You said it because you were thinking it,” I say.
“No, I wasn’t.”
“Really? Your mouth came up with it all on its own?”
“It’s very talented.”
“Yes, I’m well aware.” I could slap myself for saying that, but I need to keep him talking. I need to think.
He smiles, knowingly. “We probably should talk about that.”
“About what?” I ask, too innocently to be believable.
“You know what.”
It’s been a couple of weeks. Why should he want to talk about it now? Actually, he’s a pirate—why should he want to talk about it at all?
“What exactly do you have to say?” I ask, curious as ever.
Riden says nothing. I can see him searching for the words, but nothing will come to him.
“Here is all that needs to be said,” I say. “I’m a prisoner on this ship. I’m also the only woman on the ship. You got a little lonely, and I got a little crazy. That’s it. It was stupid, but it’s over, so let’s move on.”
Should I ram him into the wall? He’ll be knocked unconscious like Draxen, but if he sees me do that, he’ll be very suspicious when he wakes. How many women have the strength to do something like that? Riden already knows something is off about me. What if he guesses?
Paranoia must be setting in. I need more sleep.
“I don’t think so.”
“What?” I ask, coming back to the conversation.
Riden knows I heard him, so he doesn’t bother repeating himself.
Has he gotten so used to arguing with me that it’s all he can do? Even when I speak the truth? Why is he so adamantly pressing the matter?
I decide to cheat. Right now my curiosity is more powerful than my revulsion, and I have plenty of time before I lose myself.
I home in on Riden. On his mind and his heart. I can feel his frustration. Both with himself and with me. I just don’t know why. I can sense feelings and desires. But I can’t read minds, helpful as that would be. I never know the whys behind people’s intentions.
All I know is Riden wants to kiss me again. Right now it is his greatest desire, and he can’t hide it from me. I feel it as though it were my own emotion. And though I’m sure it’s merely because he hasn’t had some alone time with a woman in a while, this is most definitely something I can use to my advantage.
Forget knocking him out. I need Riden’s greatest desire to become sleep. Once he’s asleep, I can keep him that way with my song. There’s enough in me for that.
But there’s only one way to change what he wants most. I have to give him the first one, so he will be satisfied and think of something else.
I swallow. For some reason, the thought excites me. Must be the thrill of the game.
So how to start?
“You don’t think so?” I ask. “What do you think happened, then?”
A deep, stormy gray surrounds him. He feels guilty. That’ll be the betrayal to his brother, no doubt. He wants to be assuaged from that guilt. He wants to get what he wants without the consequences that’ll come with it.
Typical pirate.
No responsibility. Just selfish desire.
“I think,” Riden finally says, “there is more here than either of us is willing to admit.”
“More of what?”
His frustration flares, as does the desire. Interesting how they’re tied together. But I can’t hold on to this anymore. Time to let the siren go again.
“What did you do?” he asks.
I quirk an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“You … you just changed. You looked off for a moment, but I thought I’d imagined it. Now you look yourself again.”
Nobody has ever been able to tell when I’m using my abilities before. Riden couldn’t have actually noticed the difference, could he?
“Well, Riden, if this conversation has been any indication, you are clearly not at your best. Perhaps you should get some rest.”
“Sleep is the last thing on my mind.”
I know that. I need to get him onto the bed. “You need to relax. Here. Come, sit.” I sit on the bed and pat a spot next to me.
He looks conflicted, pained. Maybe I shouldn’t have put the siren away so soon. But I will not be reduced to pulling her out again tonight. I’d have to be truly desperate indeed.
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt you,” I say.
He scoffs. “As if you could.”
I point to his side, where I cut him when we were on the island.
“I allowed you to do that.”
“Right. Because you’re so bold and brave. Come, sit. Even conflicted pirates need a break.”
He finally yields. But he won’t look at me, and he’s ensuring there’s a good foot between us on the bed. Interesting, since I already know what he really wants. He must be trying to stay away from temptation. If so, he shouldn’t have relented the bed. That’s all the invitation I need.
“I imagine being the first mate is stressful for you,” I say.
“Why’s that?”
“Because you’re not the captain. I couldn’t stand being the first mate. I always have to have my way.”
He laughs.
“I like the freedom it gives me,” I continue. “You seem like you want more freedom.”
“Am I so easy to read?”
I didn’t have to use my powers to learn that. Riden is easier for me to read than others. “At times. There’s more going on in here than you say.” I tap my finger once to his head.
He finally turns toward me at the contact. “How do you know so much? How are you … you?”
“I am me because I choose to be me. I am what I want. Some people say you have to find yourself. Not I. I believe we create ourselves to be what we want. Any aspect of ourselves that we do not like can be altered if we make an effort.”
That might have been a bit much, but Riden eats it up. His eyes burn. They really are a beautiful brown.
I reach out and grasp his hand with mine.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Nothing. I wanted to touch you, so I did.”
“Simple as that?”
“Simple as that.”
“I want to kiss you again.”
“So then why don’t you?”
“Because I can’t help you. All I can do is take but give nothing in return.”
I’m struck speechless by his honesty. Maybe not the honesty, but the sincerity and selflessness in what he said. I’ve never heard a pirate say such a thing. It’s wrong. Uncomfortable. Almost makes me feel guilty for how I’m playing him.
Almost.
I slide closer to him, move my hand up to his face, and whisper, “But you are giving. You’re distracting me from the fate that awaits me. That’s more than I could have hoped for.”
I lean forward and press my lips to his. Rather than kiss me back, he puts his hand in my hair and says my name softly, with a touch of hopelessness.
I know he wants this; I just have to make him give in to it.
I lift up my legs and slide them over his lap, drawing him nearer to me at the same time.
Though I’d die of embarrassment if anyone on my crew knew I said this, I add, “Please, Riden. I want this. Don’t you want this?”
That does the trick. I finally feel movement under my own lips. It’s soft, unsure. Curious to be coming from Riden, who has always seemed so sure of himself. Perhaps he needs some more encouragement.
I trace his upper lip with the tip of my tongue.
The change is instant. Before I know it, he’s got his hand at the back of my head, the other on the side of my thigh. I move my lips down to his neck, teasing him in just the right places to get his heart pumping even faster.
But he’s done with letting me have all the fun. With a hand at my chin, he brings my lips back up to his. He takes control of the kiss, setting his own rhythm and pace. I let him, give him a sense of control. I have a feeling he’ll need it, if I’m to get him right where I want him.
Riden removes his coat. Obviously, things are getting warm for him in here.
Good, one less thing I’ll have to remove for myself.
For a moment, I allow myself to get caught up in the kiss. It’s all for a greater purpose, but I can’t deny how different it is to kiss Riden than it was to kiss Draxen. Draxen felt wrong. Draxen is a selfish lover. That much was obvious.
And Riden—
Riden is not.
Riden knows where to stroke my skin to make me feel more alive. He has me practically panting under the pressure of his lips. I gasp when his teeth nip at the skin above my throat.
Riden lowers me back onto the bed. I reach for the base of his shirt and pull it up. He helps me get it over his head before discarding it to the floor. But I take careful note of exactly where it lands. Hidden pockets can be sewn anywhere.
The plan was to give Riden a little of what he wanted. To make him less frustrated. So he’d want to sleep. I can see now how this might not have been the best plan. Maybe it wasn’t even a real plan, just my way of justifying kissing him again.
At least I’ll have fewer articles of clothing to remove once he’s out. Men are heavy.
But what am I to do about what’s happening now?
Riden fingers the string that laces the side of my corset. While he’s not undoing it, the action is driving me mad. Does he realize this? He can’t be doing it offhandedly. He’s far too devious for that.
My stomach burns with excitement. My mind battles against it.
Draxen’s knocked out. You don’t have much time.
But Riden’s hands are so soft and warm. I don’t want him to stop touching me.
You need to find the map now. Think of what Father’ll do to you if you fail.
But the thought of Riden’s lips makes me salivate. I could stay in his arms forever.
Alosa, have you forgotten your desire to become the queen of pirates? There’s an island filled with treasure out there. Get the map and everything will fall into place.
Right. Blast it.
This’ll be the most reckless thing I’ve done since coming to this ship. But I need to act before Draxen wakes and before I get lost in the moment.
There’s so very little left, but it’ll have to do.
I let out a song. One single note. It’s all I have.
But luckily for me, Riden is already so very much in tune with me. He topples over onto the bed. Out in an instant. There’s no way that’ll last long. There was hardly anything in it.
My breath is still traveling faster than the wind. That was very stupid. While I had enough song to put Riden to sleep, there was none left to make him forget. He’ll remember me singing to him.
But once I have the map, I can be off this ship, and it won’t matter. Father will take possession of the Night Farer and kill everyone on board. There will be no one left to tell.
A wooden plank creaks. My eyes dart toward the door, but I shake my head and quickly look away. The ship is old. Wood creaks.
Though I’m pressed for time, I have to take a few seconds to breathe. My heart pounds at an impossible pace.
Eventually, I check his coat and shirt, running my fingers over the material several times. I can’t tell if I’m disappointed or not when I know for sure it’s not in either of them.
Because that leaves his boots, leggings.
And breeches.
It’s not like Riden wasn’t hoping he’d get these off anyway.
I hurry with the rest of it, but unlike with Draxen, I don’t take so many pains to avert my eyes. I’ve been stuck on this ship for quite a while. It’s the least I deserve.
The novelty wears off quickly once the unavoidable conclusion sinks in.
The map’s not here.
Wrong again.
Blast, where else could it be? I’ve checked just about everything. Draxen wouldn’t have hidden it somewhere on land. There’s too great a chance of losing it or forgetting where he’s placed it. No one makes a map to find a map.
I try to take deep breaths, but I have to turn away from Riden’s naked form in order to do that successfully.
Now then, Father can hardly fault me if the map simply isn’t here to begin with?
But I know better than that. He’ll blame whoever he can get his hands on. Which’ll be me, once I deliver him the news. Who knows what it’ll be this time. Locked in a cell for a month. Flogged daily in the strip. No meals for a week.
It’s not my fault. The map is nowhere on this ship.
Nowhere on this ship.
On it.
My mind turns and tosses. Yes, I’ve checked everywhere on the ship.
But what about on the outside of the ship?