A Captive Situation (Kings of New York)

He never showed. There were no calls. No texts.

That was when I realized I’d never had his number in the first place. That was a sobering realization. I felt like I’d lost him all over again.noveldrama

We flew back a few days later.

We couldn’t stay in New York forever. At some point, we needed to return home. I wanted to hold off, but I couldn’t. There was a mess in Montana that I still needed to sort through, including kicking Beck out of my house, which was so satisfying.

I also turned in my resignation, not that anyone thought I was going to continue working for my ex. When I dropped it off, I meant to sneak in, slip it under the door, but the office was already open. It was early, but one of the patient assistants was already there. We talked a little and I found out half Beck’s employees quit the day he married Manda in my place.

That warmed my heart because a small town meant a small pool to replace good employees with new ones. Plus, the gossip was brutal. If so many employees left him, that said a lot about where the town had placed their loyalty. With me. I wouldn’t be surprised if Beck was going to lose patients and would need to set up in a different town.

Time would tell.

Time would tell for me as well because I ached for Jake.

Every day and every night. I couldn’t sleep because I wanted him. I lost my appetite, finally losing some of that weight my mother once mentioned to me, but she broke down crying one day, saying, “I was wrong. It doesn’t matter. The stupid weight. It doesn’t matter. I want you to shine, and you’re not shining.”

I understood what she was saying, but I couldn’t make myself shine without Jake in my life.

A month passed.

Then another one. No call. No texts. No emails.

My things were mailed a week later. They were the items that I’d left behind when Blake and I ran for it. At first I thought that meant he was alive. He sent them, until I found a note that they were mailed to my address at the request from Jake.

It was in a woman’s handwriting. No name was attached, so did that mean Laila sent them? I was half tempted to call her. I knew where I could get a hold of her, but another part of me knew that I would shatter if I found out he was with her. He said they’d only had a benefits-type situationship and it wasn’t serious, but he had a key to her place.

I wanted to murder him. I wanted to yell at him, throw things at him, maybe stab him with a trident. Anything to hear from him. I never maimed him. That’d been my promise to myself the second time he kidnapped me. It was the only way I gave up my anger at him so fast, but I know now that I melted for him so quickly because I’d already fallen for him.

I loved him.

This was Jake’s effect.

I was different and as the days went by, I was changing more and more.

The color left.

The world had been washed-out colors, the barest of neutral colors before him. Then Jake entered my world and boom, before I knew it was happening, despite if I wanted it to happen, everything became yellow, orange, neon. The brightest purple. The prettiest pink. Even black and white had texture.

Jake gave me color. Then he took it away.

The sun went away again.

“Honey, are you ready?” My mom came into the room, dressed in a fancy white sweater tank top. Underneath were skinny jeans and sparkly pink shoes that peeked out over her toes. I whistled, taking in all her gloriousness, complete with the low-hanging pendant necklace and the clutch that matched her shoes.

“Mom.”

She blushed. “What?”

“You look hot. Beautiful, but hot.” I teased her, cocking my head to the side. “Are you and Dad okay? Are you having problems? Does he know you’re hoping to pick someone up at this barbecue?”

Her blush doubled. She waved a hand at me before turning for the door. “Oh, you. You’re always teasing lately. Come on. We’re already a bit late.”

We’d been waiting for Dad this whole time. I’d been ready for the last hour, waiting, thinking, and knowing I shouldn’t be thinking. Like she said, I was always teasing. That was me lately.

Teasing. Smiling. Faking.

My heart had been ripped out all over again.

I didn’t know when it happened, or even how, but at some point, Jake became mine too. Mine back. He gave me the sun. How fucking dare he take it back? This was worse than Beck, than Manda. That’d been nothing compared to this and I couldn’t do a thing to fix it.

Jake was gone.

My chest ached, but this was the moment when I felt like breaking down and when I wanted to crawl in bed and never leave again—this was when I covered it up with a joke. No one could see the cracks. If they did, they’d realize how close I was to having the entire wall fall down. It was already collapsing. I was barely holding the weight up, but my knees were buckling.

I wanted to fall down, but fuck no. Jake wouldn’t have done that. So I’d keep waiting. That’s all I could do.

So I did that. I waited for Jake.